Conflicting Due Dates....

my original due date

was today

but at my first appointment

after measuring the size of the baby on ultrasound

they moved the due date up 4 days

and there it has stayed

even though at the 5 month ultrasound

he was measuring a little small

so really

who knows

but what I "due" know

is that I am still pregnant

and still waiting

.................................................................................................

 

I went to the gym this morning

to try and get things moving

here's the thing

it doesn't work

babies come when they come

you can go on a long walk

or workout

or do a massive cleaning of your home

(LOVE)

and you will inevitably get lots of contractions

even enough to make you think this might be the real thing

they could last all day long

but really

its the contractions that come when you are doing nothing at all

when you are sitting

or trying to take a nap

that count

they are the ones that won't go away if you sit down to rest

because you are already sitting down to rest

these are the ones I am waiting for

and even though I am still doing all the other stuff

the walks, the gym, the cleaning, the laundry, the up down up down with kids

I am mostly doing it so I don't go crazy waiting for this thing to happen

because nothing is worse than waiting for an unknown but imminent event

......................................................................................................................................................

 

my mom arrives on Wednesday morning

I thought baby boy would be here a week before she arrived

as it stands

she is likely to be here before he comes

I think my babies have a thing about waiting for Grammy to arrive

both Pete and Gus waited for Grammy

and it looks like Grammy has sway with baby boy as well

"MOM, do your daughter a favor and just tell him to come already!"

............................................................................................................................................................

 

Andy leaves for a training in Chicago in one week

that's right

I said one week

this is really bad timing

baby boy was supposed to be here a good week and a half

BEFORE

Andy left for Chicago

as it stands

we are a week away, and counting down ever closer

we'll see what can be done about that

...............................................................................................................................................................

 

what's baby boy's name going to be?

good question

...............................................................................................................................................................

 

looking at the bright side

soon I won't be able to eat chocolate

and as distressing as that can be for me

its ok

I did really well with Gus

so I think I can handle it again this time around

I ordered two cookbooks to give some excitement to my soon to be chocolate free life

one is called Lucious Lemon Desserts

so summery

and Martha Stewarts Pie and Pastry Book

also

very summery

especially here in the NW where bearries grow like weeds

this summer is bound to be delicious

even without the dark temptress: chocolate

....................................................................................................................................................

 

and now for some things we've been doing to pass the time

now that my seemingly endless 'to do' list has been completed for over a week

recreating "Moonrise Kingdom" at nature day in the park

encouraging outdoorsmanship while indoors.....

eating as much PB&J as ever

did I mention I recently made the switch to all natural peanut butter

ya

the kind that is just peanuts and a little salt

all ground up

so I think I love it

ya

I think I do

wearing loads of spandex these days

there is really no other option 

40 weeks pregnant.....spandex......

I can't be trusted around orchids

this was a gift given to me on my birthday from a friend at church

it lived 6 weeks

and now look at it

ugh

I hate my thumb, its never as green as I hope it would be

(those last 3 blossoms promptly fell off after this photo was taken)

we went to release baby coho salmon in a creek behind one of Andy's director's homes

I loved it

Gus loved it

Andy loved it

Pete hated the grass getting on his toes

I think 4 years in Brooklyn might have ruined him

the big release

daddy lending a helping hand

consolation prize for not going into labor this weekend

a trip to the Hobby Lobby

a beautiful thing to behold

she did not disappoint

I bought some lovely gray and white chevron fabric

that I will be using for a project later this summer

trying to keep this one out of baby brother's space

but if he doesn't show up soon

I have to give "finders keepers" to Gus

I can only hold him off for so long

 

well.......wish me luck

anxiously awaiting the arrival of the most painful event of my life

Huzzah!

Last Minute Baby Gifts

This "to do" item was a cinch to knock out since its mostly been ready since Gus was born. But let's not talk about that, it was a rough time (not Gus, but the adoption falling through for S&G). But I switched the initial letter from W to an L, made it leather this time, because what says "rad little dude" more than a leather initial on a minky dot blanket? Nothing, that's what. The 'stache' onsie Pete helped me make last night, and those burp cloth beauties we are steal of a find in Brooklyn and I've been holding on to them waiting for this very day to come. One more thing to cross off my list. I love knocking things out left and right from a to do list against an unknown but imminently soon deadline.

you can never have enough onsies

It's a staple of new baby clothes so we did a little family project of painting onesies for baby brother and S&G's baby boy (his is the L nose with mustache). Just another check mark on the to do list. One step closer to the end.

The 'To Do' List

I just finished the drawer liners for the dresser we painted last weekend. They were an experiment and are very temporary, but they will do the job famously until I decide on something more permanent, not to mention it was infinitely cheaper than some of the other options I considered. I basically used papers I had in my stash and bought a roll of contact paper ($6). Contrast that with some beautiful shelf liner paper/fabric I found online for $25/roll, and I would have needed 2 rolls. Maybe someday, but for now, I love this, it works, it does the job, and I know I can easily change it anytime I want and not feel like I'm throwing money away.

Finishing this project was a huge check off on my to do list. I've got a few more things to do to be completely ready for this week. They include finishing a few baby gifts for my brother and sister in law who just adopted a little baby boy (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), exchanging some baby gifts, buying a couple things for baby boy (ie a changing pad), emailing my mother in law possible labor scenarios of where the boys will be for her to pick up when she gets into town, and a massive cleaning of my apartment (which if you know me at all, you know there are few things in this world that I find greater satisfaction in than deep cleaning and decluttering my living space). Wish me luck. Who knows how much time I have to get it all done!

Productive Weekend Yields Even BIGGER Results

I eyed this furniture piece in my mother-in-law's kitchen

LONG LONG LONG

before Andy and I ever even hinted of a possible marriage between us

but once I saw it

I knew

I just knew

I had to marry Andy on the off chance

that his mom might one day give me that dresser

 

well

that one day came

about 2 weeks ago

I brought that beauty home

Andy took a day off

and we attacked it with a DIY furry

there is one thing left to finish

I want to line the drawers with paper

but other than that

she's finished

and I couldn't be more pleased with how it turned out

oh heavens

it is gorgeous

I think we sat and looked at it for almost 30 minutes when we finished

commenting on how amazing it was

like we had just given birth to our baby

but I can't imagine birthing this thing

it's HUGE

we did a lot of sanding

perfect excuse for Andy to go buy a fancy new tool

and then we did lots of late night painting when the boys were asleep

while watching Arrested Development

an easy show to work to

since I don't have to watch it to enjoy it

merely hearing the dialogue is enough to entertain

we discovered the gloriousness of Behr paint

and may name our 3rd boy in honor of such a superior product

 

I plan to line the drawers with a mixture of papers

an old map

and some mixed prints from Kate's Paperie in NYC

those pictures to come

 

for now

we plan on using the dresser to house baby things

clothes, diapers, blankets, and other sundry smallish sized items

we are putting a changing mat on top

so for the first time ever

in all our diaper changing existence

we can stand while we change the baby's diaper

as opposed to risk him urinating all over our bed (or worse)

or just changing him on the floor

this is a huge plus for Andy

since flexibility is a foreign concept for his body

 

once we no longer need it for baby things

can't you just imagine a big beautiful vase of pink peonies on top!!!???!?!?!

I know

I can't wait!

 

 

PS Cindy

I accidentally stole your plastic drop cloth

I will buy you more

we used a bunch in this project



Productive Week Yields Big Results

 

so I posted about our side tables before

but I actually finally finished them last Thursday

a big win since baby boy is coming soon

I just needed to paint the legs white

and do a clear coat on the rest of the table

happy to say it's finished

HUZZAH! 

and now for the big project

details on that soon!!!

Baby Countdown: 39 weeks

I had a 39 week appointment today

my doctor mentioned she was on call tomorrow and Sunday

so try to have the baby then

if only......

but after looking at me

we determined

baby boy has not dropped

um ya, I could have told you that

I can't eat without crazy heartburn

I can't breathe, ever

 I feel nauseous 85% of the time from the lack of space for my stomach

and doesn't seem to have any intentions of doing it soon

so as always

I am assuming he will be in there at least one more week

......my apologies to my small one

Dear PETE, 

this is long overdue

but I feel I owe you an apology

when I was pregnant with Gus

I couldn't stand being touched, climbed on, sat on, etc

consequently

I didn't hold you as much as I could have

as much as I should have

prior to Gus' birth

you went from baby to boy

and I missed it

and even now

2 years later

it breaks my heart

 

I'm sorry

I hope you will forgive me

I can never give you back that time

those last moments before "you and I" would no longer be just "you and I"

you transitioned famously from only child to big brother

you deserve more credit than I ever gave you

you were my big helper (and still are)

I love you

I hope you know that

I hope I show that

and I hope I have done better this time around

to not miss your growth

to let you be a bigger part of our family changes

and especially

to hold you as often as you have wanted

our new little guy is lucky to have you as a big brother

and I'm lucky to have you as my first baby

Love,

MOM



Training for the Big Day Part 2: My Minimalist Race

(me, mid contraction in the back of a cab, stuck in midday traffic, NYC, June 2011)

 

As I mentioned before, I want a natural birth this time around.  Essentially, I am going the minimalist runner's route, little interference, little technology.  A few years ago, I threw out my running shoes and switched to vibram five fingers (essentially a calous glove for your foot so you can run barefoot) and I've never looked back.  I have loved every minute of barefoot running that I got before my delivery of Gus when my hips started having issues.  I love the connection my feet feel to the ground as I run, and the way my body connects together because of the different way you have to run when running minimalist style.  It feels natural to my body, it feels right.

When I mention that my hope is for a natural no interference birth I get mixed reactions.  Some people are completely supportive (my OB, my midwife loving gals), some people don't care, and some people wonder why I would ever choose that route when I don't have to endure such discomforts.  Well, to each his own I say.  I am so glad to live in a time when all these options are available to us because without them, I likely wouldn't be alive to be having a third baby (not sure Pete or I would have made it through that delivery without the surgeons, the epidural, the monitors, etc, etc).  But I have gone through two very different labor experiences (natural laboring with late epidural ending in vaginal delivery, and natural laboring, then pitocin laboring, then epidural ending in cesarean) and I want the experience I haven't had yet.  I want the natural birth: no meds.

I recently found out I tested negative for the Group B Strep (something I tested positive for in my previous 2 pregnancies) which will allow me to stay away from the hospital for longer since I don't need an antibiotic/IV drip 5 hours prior to delivery.  I couldn't be more happy about this.  I am no longer on a time limit for how soon I need to get to the hospital except for the actual delivery.  So really, my potential for laboring at home for longer and lessening risk of interference at the hospital are so much better this time around, I feel like I need to seize the opportunity to try it.  Why not just deliver with a midwife?  Well, in the Seattle area, midwives can't deliver VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) patients at birthing centers.  You might be able to find one for a home birth, but I think that is too risky for me (I don't feel comfortable with it) considering I have had a cesarean.

 

Why am I so keen on a natural birth?  I have thought about it a great deal and I want to know what women before me knew: the amazing natural ability of our bodies to handle something so intense and painful.  I want a connection with women of my past who brought forth life with all the pain and no relief.  I want to know what they had to go through, to feel what they had to feel.  I want to feel the deep connection with my child that comes from being present physically, mentally, and emotionally for every blissful and excruciating moment of labor and delivery.  I am definitely not saying that those who get an epidural are not present or those who can't handle the pain aren't real women.  Remember, I got the epidural in both previous labors, so I've been there, I've thrown up multiple times from pain, I know how terrible it can be and how tempting relief is.  But I've been there, I've done it, and I want a different experience this time.  I want to run my race without all the high tech gear.  I want a natural child birth. 

Now, I realize much of this will depend on the length and terrain of my race, something I won't discover until the race begins.  But for now, that is my plan.  I'm glad for my backup options, in case the race threatens to beat me, but I've trained for this, I've done (and will continue until he comes) all I can do to get ready physically for this race.  I am working on the mental aspect.  I am not as mentally prepared this time as I was with Gus, but as race day approaches, I will be visualizing the race and how I hope it goes and how I can deal if/when the course changes on me.  Wish me luck (and Andy too, he's going to need it as my race pacer).

 

Training for the Big Day Part 1: My Approach to Labor, Delivery, and Recovery

 

As I approach my due date (1 week, 4 days), I have been reflecting on my past 2 pregnancies and labor/deliveries and how things played out.  I have approached each pregnancy the same.  Previous to pregnancy, I was involved in a regular exercise schedule (some possibly more intense than others, IE race training with Pete, and injury recovery from races with Gus) and had no intentions of stopping the exercising because of pregnancy, just adjusting intensity as needed. 

 

With Pete, I ran pretty long distances (again I was race training when I found out I was pregnant and I wasn't about to give up the mileages I had worked so hard to achieve) until about the 7 or 8 month and had to stop because neither the baby or I could handle NYC humidity/heat.  I ended up having an emergency cesarean with Pete, but picked up running again as soon as my stitches dissolved (4 weeks postpartum).  I attribute my quick recovery from major surgery to being physically healthy before and during pregnancy.

 

With Gus, I ran short to mid-range distances (I was recovering from a few running injuries and the time) but I ran until the bitter end, logging a 1.5 mile run the day before I delivered.  I labored for about 11 hours before Gus came.  I took a bigger break from exercises after Gus was born (but living in Brooklyn, walking everywhere for transportation, groceries, etc is exercise in its own right).  I soon realized something was off with my body; hips never felt right after he was born and muscles and ligaments adjoining hips stayed loose as if I was still pregnant, causing all sorts of issues.  Turns out that 14 years of gymnastics compounded with running has made my hips a bit unreliable... but that did not deter me from trying to stay healthy.  So even though all I really wanted was a long long run, I started becoming better acquainted with things like the elliptical and walking because I knew we wanted more kids and I knew that being active in pregnancy has always helped me bounce back faster afterwards.

 

Fast forward to this pregnancy.  I currently still struggle with a deep desire to run, but I settle for this crazy machine at the gym that almost sort of kinda feels like running, minus the actual pavement pounding (oh how I miss that feeling) and the fresh air and solitude of a real run.  Upside is I do get an hour to myself to watch HGTV and daydream of what I would do if it was my house those Canadian twins were renovating. 

 

So why do I feel so strongly about working out during pregnancy?  Well, a couple of things.  First, I feel so much better when I am physically active, like getting sweaty, raised heart rate, a bit heavier breathing, tired muscles, etc.  It works out my kinks; it takes the edge off my day; it gives me an outlet for frustrations; it keeps my mind fresh and reasonable; and it relieves and sometimes eliminates many of the bodily pains common in pregnancy.  Second, I treat the day of delivery like race day.  I need my heart, my lungs, my mind to be ready for an intense race (labor).  The trick is, I don't know how long the race is going to be or what kind of race it will be.  It could be a long smooth uphill climb (like my labor with Gus).  It could be treacherous terrain with lots of ups and downs, mud pits, things to climb over, potential injuries, and complete disappointment (like my labor with Pete). So I train for whatever the possibilities might be.  I know the kind of race I would like to run, and I aim for that, but I leave room for the possibility that the day of the race, the course might change.  But I try not to concern myself too much with that because physically, I am fit to handle the demands of any course and any distance that comes my way.  And not only am I physically able, but by exercising, my baby becomes acquainted with how my body feels under stress, elevated heart rate, quickened breathes, etc.  He too becomes stronger and is better able to handle the little race he too must run.

 

So what race am I hoping to run this time around?  Well, when it comes to running, some people have all the gear.  They have GPS, top of the line running shoes, IPODS/IPHONES/MP3, performance running socks, lightweight moisture wicking engineered running clothes, and sleek aerodynamic sunglasses to reduce glare, UV rays, and wind resistance.  I have at times run my races like this (Pete involved surgeons, anesthesiologists, a million nurses, etc etc).  With Gus I intended on a less high tech approach, and used quite a bit less, though still more than I hoped.  This time around, I am going basic.  I am running in my barefoot shoes and nothing else! This time, the race I hope to run will involve me and Andy with mild interference from my labor and delivery nurse and OB.  I hope to work through my heart rate and breathing when I hit the hills and recover quickly when I glide back down hill.  I hope to push through the last leg of the race ignoring my desire to quit, to be done, and to pull out of the race.

 

Now why in the world would I elect to put myself through the unpleasantries of that type of race????Well that is a story for next time...

Baby Countdown: 2 Weeks!

You might say I'm running out of time and you might say the end is near, but if you said any of this to me, I would ignore your words and pretend blissfully that I still have a good month or two left before my due date. So just don't bother.

so well mannered and polite

I sneezed in the bathroom this morning and this little one looked up at me and said, "bless you Mama." True story. Oh my heart.

Baby Countdown: 3 Weeks Left

Im at 37 weeks and I feel like he's getting big fast, an obvious in the last few weeks of pregnancy. I mostly put my feet up as often as possibly and bask in "pregnancy glow" (ha, created with hippatamatic app). I've got a project that I am bringing home from my mother in laws. It is sure to occupy much of my time as I try to get it ready before baby boy comes. I'll show you once I get it started. It's lucky we have awesome sunny warm weather coming all next week. Plenty of time to finish the mid century side tables and start and finish my new project. Now I think I'll go get some ice cream. Double scoop please. And definitely something chocolatey. I am on a countdown to no chocolate too. *sad face*